Cooking Time: 10mins Prep: 5mins
Serves: Family of 8 Asians / Family of 3 Aussies / 2 Maori infants
The Mongolians May have been smart enough to cease the food supplies of the Chinese. But they weren’t smart enough to stop them from taking off with their you beaut namesake sauce.
Truth be known the term Mongolian is more to do with style of cooking rather than origins.
But let me say, if this was actually a Mongolian dish, Genghis Khan may have not been such an uptight prick and smiled a lot more.
My tastebuds love this sauce. Dark, rich, sweet & thick. Good for eggs, and toast as a midnight snacky
Anyway… It’s time!
Get your work area clean, and get ready to prep your food. Like all Asian dishes.. preparation is 🔑
400g Firm Tofu diced into 3cm pieces
200g Zucchini cut into thick strips
2 tsp (heaped) minced Ginger
1 tbsp minced Garlic
1.5 tbsp Hoisin Sauce
1 tsp Ground Black Pepper
1/2 Cup Brown Sugar
1/2 Cup Soy Sauce
1/2 Cup Water
1 tbsp (heaped and halved) Corn Flour
Sesame Oil for flavouring
Peanut Oil for frying
30ml Shaoxing wine (optional)
Dash Sechuan Sauce (optional)
1. Prep your ingredients
2. Heat the wok and get that thing
3. In a bowl toss the chopped tofu in
half the corn flour to coat
4. Good glug of peanut oil about 1/2
Cup. Get it hot hot hot!
5. Shake off excess flour and fry the
tofu. Don’t overcrowd the wok, cook in batches if you need to. Cook till
golden brown. Set all tofu aside
6. Dump off most of the oil leaving a
couple of teaspoons of oil
7. Working quickly add the garlic &
ginger keep it moving don’t burn
8. Add Hoisin & Soy and keep it moving.
If using the wine and sechuan sauce,
put in now. Keep it moving
9. Add the water, pepper and sugar. As soon as Sauce starts to boil, reduce
heat, give a stir and heat until sauce
starts to thicken
10. After a few minut
When you serve this up at your next shin-dig, and you will, should anyone pipe up and say “ew caramel and peppermint? Together? WTF!” That’s your cue to fuck that person off and get another friend… or parent. It’s not up to you to prove that it works.
Fact of the matter is, it just does.
Silky caramel cream. Peppery hit of peppermint with a smack of chocolate that was conveniently stuck to the outside of the peppermint bar. Add that to some Tennis biscuits and more cream and you my friend will have a great excuse to ditch those close minded, sausages and mash dead weight acquaintances you’ve been carrying around for far too long… Advantage, you
Go to the shops now and get yourself
2 Packets of Tennis Biscuits or Italian sponge biscuits
1 Can Of Caramel like Top n Fill
350g Peppermint Crisps
1. Get a deep dish about 30cm x 20cm x 6cm
2. Whip cream in a glass bowl and set aside
3. In another bowl whip the caramel
4. Crush up the Peppermint Crisps
Not too fine. Set aside 150g larger
shard pieces for the top
5. Fold in the other 200g of Crisps
into caramel and give a whip
6. Fold in 2/3 whipped cream
7. Line base of tray with biscuits
8. Spoon in some of mix
9. Repeat steps 7 & 8 until none left
10. Top with cream and remaining shards of Peppermint Crisps
11. Set in fridge for 2hrs or overnight
This slice is a smash. Serve this up
and it’ll be game set match...
I thought I’d put that in there becauseof the tennis biscuits... I LOVE it
Those who know me know, that I lose my marbles around filo pastry. I love the stuff. Paper thin sheets of buttery, flakey goodness sandwiched together like paper thin sheets of buttery, flakey goodness sandwiched together.. I can imagine myself as a hobo laying on a cold park bench in winter wrapped in it, yet floating off to sleep with a happy, comforted smile.
This is my take on one of the greatest Greek dishes on this here planet, using one of my favourite Maori/Polynesian ingredients.. watercress from leftover boil up! Chur-iffic!
First things first, remember when working with filo, don’t stuff around. Never use the filo shit from any shop that’s come from the frozen section, only out of the fridge area. And, always have a damp cloth on the ready to place over filo sheets that aren’t being used so they don’t dry out.
Ok let’s hit it!
You will need:
Your favourite lasagne tray or
Filo Pastry sheets
2 Cups Watercress from boilup. Drained and pressed over night
1 Cup Ricotta
250g butter should be heaps
Handful of Dill
Handful of Parsley
Juice of a Lemon
Salt & Pepper
1.As mentioned before you will need to
press as much liquid out of the
watercress as you can, as not to make
the pastry soggy
2.Chop the Parsley and Dill and place
into a bowl with watercress, the three
cheeses, lemon juice and a good grind
of nutmeg. Taste. Adjust seasoning with
salt and pepper
3.Mix well. Cover and set aside
4.Get your tray and cover the bottom
with a sheet of filo pastry.
5.Brush with melted butter.. oh yeah,
melt the butter
6.Repeat 4-6 sheets
7.Spread mix over pastry
8.Repeat steps 4-6
9.Give it all a nice little press and
pre-cut into squares or triangles. Cut
it into any shape you want it’s your
10.Beat an egg and add a splash of milk
for basting. Baste it with a brush
11.Cook in 180deg/C or 170deg/C fan
forced until golden and flakey
12.Let stand for 5-10 minutes
13.Plate up, take a few Instagram pics
and post the shit out of it!
Probably the easiest pie you will ever make.
Shuffling through the mountain of food that wasn’t pie my gaze settled upon an old canned favourite, corned meat.
My attention nearly turned to the baked beans in ham sauce when I had an epiphany. I remembered that my search through the freezer moments earlier revealed I had some puff and shortcrust pastry. Right there and then I knew it had to be done.
I was feeling, as usual, one day like I needed a pie for lunch. I went to the freezer to see if I had any frozen ones I could nuke in the microwave, but I was shit out of luck. Not really wanting to go through the effort of going down the street to buy one, I disappointingly went to the cupboard to see what other options I had for a quick bite.
- I emptied the can to make it into a pie tin
- took the label off so it wouldn’t burn
- lined the tin with shortcrust pastry
- put the meant back in the tin
- covered with puff pastry
- cooked in preheated oven for about 15-20 mins or until golden brown
Juicy, and delicious, this would have to be the easiest meat pie I’ve ever made. But it filled the spot, and the best thing was there was no cleaning up, just turf the pie tin in the trash!
Give it a go. Let me know how you went, I’d like to see what choice of canned goodness you tried. Bon Appetit
One of my big fuck-offs with this so-called new age of gastronomy is the term ‘de-constructed’. Especially when the local pub or tavern has just undergone a reno and they’ve replaced the old cook Boris for some spritely go-getter chef to bring a little class to the place. And now I’m there wanting my usual greasy burger for lunch and this twat wants me to assemble the bastard myself? WTF! Plus charge me double and call the shit de-constructed!
Don’t get me wrong, there are amazing chefs out there that know the sophisticated art that is true food de-construction. Chefs that can pull apart the components of a classic dish and rearrange and present them in such a way that one can only look on in awe at the sheer wizardry it took to create it. You’re eating art.
When I order bruschetta as my starter at any one of my fave Italian restaurants, I often end up wishing I had of just ordered a tonne of it in a bowl with a 10 foot long crusty French baguette. Then I think, fuck I could have just ditched the need for scallopini stayed home and made it myself, and enjoyed it in front of the idiot box. And save $15.90.
So this is how it goes down when I’m at home. It’s not de-con, its merely just going heavy on the ingredients with a good loaf of bread and enjoying the vinegary, tangy, sweet, olive oily crusty party in my mouth.
This for me is one of those perfect snacks that hits a bullseye on all the flavour profiles in one bite, especially when I’m enjoying the footy.
Grab a bowl. Fill it. Devour it. Enjoy. Oh, and don’t forget the baguette!
You will need:
- 2 Tomatoes chopped
- 1/2 C pitted Kalamata Olives C
- 1 small Spanish Onion diced
- Extra Virgin Olive Oil
- Balsamic Vinegar
- Cracked Black Pepper
- Maldon or Kosher Salt
- a little lemon juice (optional)
Throw the tomatoes, olives and onion into a bowl season with a good pinch of salt and give it a toss, stir, mix, whatever. Add a splash of oil and a splodge of balsamic and mix again. Add pepper and check if more salt is needed. Let stand for a few minutes to get the flavours fusing. Grab the butter, tear apart the bread and dig in! Squeeze over some lemon if you’re in the mood.
PS. You can also add a little sugar or stevia at the beginning if desired. Play with the quantities and have fun with it.
Let me know how you go!