Watercress Spanakopita

Watercress Spanakopita

Those who know me know, that I lose my marbles around filo pastry. I love the stuff. Paper thin sheets of buttery, flakey goodness sandwiched together like paper thin sheets of buttery, flakey goodness sandwiched together.. I can imagine myself as a hobo laying on a cold park bench in winter wrapped in it, yet floating off to sleep with a happy, comforted smile.

This is my take on one of the greatest Greek dishes on this here planet, using one of my favourite Maori/Polynesian ingredients.. watercress from leftover boil up! Chur-iffic!

First things first, remember when working with filo, don’t stuff around. Never use the filo shit from any shop that’s come from the frozen section, only out of the fridge area. And, always have a damp cloth on the ready to place over filo sheets that aren’t being used so they don’t dry out.

Ok let’s hit it!

You will need:

Your favourite lasagne tray or
springform pan
Filo Pastry sheets
2 Cups Watercress from boilup. Drained and pressed over night
1 Cup Ricotta 
80g Cheddar 
100g Fetta
250g butter should be heaps
Handful of Dill
Handful of Parsley
Juice of a Lemon
Salt & Pepper

1.As mentioned before you will need to 
press as much liquid out of the 
watercress as you can, as not to make
the pastry soggy
2.Chop the Parsley and Dill and place
into a bowl with watercress, the three 
cheeses, lemon juice and a good grind
of nutmeg. Taste. Adjust seasoning with
salt and pepper
3.Mix well. Cover and set aside
4.Get your tray and cover the bottom 
with a sheet of filo pastry. 
5.Brush with melted butter.. oh yeah,
melt the butter
6.Repeat 4-6 sheets
7.Spread mix over pastry
8.Repeat steps 4-6
9.Give it all a nice little press and 
pre-cut into squares or triangles. Cut
it into any shape you want it’s your 
10.Beat an egg and add a splash of milk
for basting. Baste it with a brush
11.Cook in 180deg/C or 170deg/C fan 
forced until golden and flakey 
12.Let stand for 5-10 minutes
13.Plate up, take a few Instagram pics
and post the shit out of it!

Enjoy x

Summer Roll Cigars

Summer Roll Cigars

“Spring Rolls are so last season, These Summer Rolls take the cake.. and wrap it in filo” – Johnny Depp‘s gardener

Born out of my insatiable food lust to wrap all things in filo and watch on repeat my favourite cooking shows on the food channels, I was happily immersed in the end credits for Pirates Of The Caribbean, Dead Mans Chest when I decided to sail back to my beloved cooking channel. To my horror Man vs Food was not on as the TV guide had promised, my poor 80″ UHD screen had been hijacked by that shite ‘Mystery Diners’! My inner pirate raged “Aaarrrrgghhh! Such blaspheme! How dare ye pillege my pixels. Tis’ has no place on ye food channel” Unfortunately, I couldn’t make that Charles dude walk the plank. So I did the next best thing.. I walked to the kitchen… aaaarrrrghhh

On opening the larder I stumbled upon a treasure trove of delectable left over delights. Madeira cake, chocolate, nuts, dried fruits and more chocolate. Instantly my imagination soared to the horizon. Follow that star to the land of munchies. But first, I had one last thing to procure. So before I set sail to for the equatorial summer of Fat Mans Chest, I collected the bounty and made my way across to the fridge. Immediately it caught the attention of my right eye (the other was covered by a patch), there it was.. the filo pastry!

“Ahoy there mother f**ker! I feel a binge eat comin’ on. Set sail.. We have some deep frying to do..”

Summer Roll Cigars

Filo Pastry
Chunk of Madeira Cake
Big handful of Dark Chocolate
Same with White Chocolate
A heap of Pistachios nuts
Dried fruit (optional)
Glace Cherries (also optional)
Peanut oil for Deep Frying or Vege oil

1. Combine all ingredients in a food processor except filo. That would be counter productive
2. Blitz till coarse
3. Taking one sheet of filo at a time, keeping the remaining sheets covered with a damp cloth to avoid
drying out the rest.
4. Spread one half of filo with butter using a basting brush, fold in half to make a smaller rectangle,
square shape
5. Place equal amounts of filling on each sheet and roll into cigar shapes
6. Deep fry in hot oil till golden brown and drain on a rack

Serve with homemade ice cream, Baileys ice cream or any ice cream for that matter or dipping chocolate

Aye, she be hot, luscious, Gooey & fudgy