If there is a fruit or vegetable that I can grow, it’s chillies! Each year I reap a bumper crop of mixed chillies. Different shapes, sizes, types, heat, colours. Overflowing abundant crops of the most beautiful little morsels of peppery-firey heat. And, like every year it amazes me the shit out of me that I didnt plant any of them!
I don’t know why I have the prowess akin to a Macedonian farmer at growing chillies. I do wish I had the same green-thumb-ness with other produce that I do actually set out to endeavour to bring to life. Like tomatoes, beans, peas, pumpkins, grammars, aubergines, pets from snake bites etc etc. Meticulously, I prep the ground. The soil. Compost. Potting Mix. Horse manure. Chicken shit. Worm juice.
Finally, as if by some fairy garden magic, thousands of little green stalks break through the ground searching for air and sun, like zombie arms cracking the grave mound searching for brains. All’s going great. Nek minut… Dead as fuck. But not like Walking Dead zombies. Just like, zombies that are dead-dead. Everything, fucked! I mean EVERYTHING! WTF happened? I watered everything, looked after each plant as if it was a baby, shook them, gave them all the care and attention they needed.
I still think the dogs pissed on them, little bastards. Its something they’d do to get back at me.
Maybe I shouldn’t give a shit and just go with the flow. Because as the old saying goes ‘When one crop closes another one opens’… Hence why I am the Chilli Master
I think these firey little bastards I pickled in this dish here are affectionately known as the ‘Trinidad Scorpion’. I looked them up on this thing called “Google” and apparently, they’ve rated around 1.2 million to 2 million Scoville heat units (SHUs). Which pretty much means you’ll need a dam of aloe vera to drown the fires Mordor on your ring.
Having said that, I was dubious as to whether they are actually Scorpion peppers as I’ve not had any I would say were that hot. Mainly because I’m a chilli fiend, that suffers from ulcers and tends to take shit too far. I step way over the line and it costs me dearly. We’re talking, fart crimson… B. L. U. D. blood! Having said that, there have been the odd one or two in the pile that made my piles feel like truckloads.
So, let’s get on with it. MY STUFFED PEPPERS!… From the garden
Some glass jars A clean needle A large bowl of fresh chillies 300ml Water 200ml Vinegar 2 tbsp salt 5 tbsp Caster Sugar Black or Green Peppercorns Light Olive Oil Filling: 150g Persian Feta 100g Cream Cheese good pinch salt 1/4 tsp white pepper Herbs such as: Rosemary Thyme Parsley Tarragon Do This: 1. Wash and clean chillies 2. Put about 3 needle pricks in each chilli Put the Water, vinegar, salt, sugar, peppercorns in a pot and heat until salt and sugar disolve. As soon as slow boil starts, turn off and transfer to a glass bowl large enough to submerge your chillies. If there's not enough liquid.. fuckin make more! 3. Soak your chillies in liquid, cover and place in fridge overnight. 4. Chop herbs 5. Place herbs with the rest of the filling ingredients in another glass bowl and combine well. Set aside in fridge to infuse for a couple of hours. 6. Take the tops off the chillies leaving a hole to pipe the filling into. 7. Take filling from fridge and give a mix 8. Place filling in piping bag and fill each chilli 9. Gently place each filled chilli into a glass jar, or else all your hard work will look like shit. 10. Place a stalk of rosemary or oregano into jar and top up with light olive oil. NB: For your own well being do not use that canola shit!